The Big City Lima  ..............

It is quite a while now since we have visited a big city, by big I mean really big, 10 million plus people, crazy traffic, that sort of thing.

From experience, we have found that it really is best to stay clear of these places, if you can.  

Yes, they have a lot of facilities etc, you can buy stuff you need, loads of choice of what to do.

Downside is that they tend to be loud, intense, busy, polluted and a wee bit stressful.

So here we were in Lima, not because we really wanted to visit, we needed to visit.  

Leaving Cusco we didn't really have any realistic option other than to fly and there was no real realistic destination other than Lima. 

So Lima it is, The City of the Kings, The Pacific Pearl, Lima the Grey, second largest city in South America, home to over 10 million people (15 million if you take a taxi drivers word for it) and twinned with amongst others both Bordeaux and Madrid.

On arrival at Jorge Chávez International Airport, once in the arrival hall, you are greeted with the sight of a sea of people, many of whom are collecting friends and family, however the majority seem to be taxi drivers vying for your trade.

Thankfully we had the foresight to book a lift in advance and although it cost a little more it made the whole experience less stressful, than it otherwise would have been. 

The journey into the city was a feast for the eyes, on the people watching front, stuff going on everywhere, people selling their wares from both the side of the street and in the middle of the highway.

You quickly get a feel for just how busy a place this is and we also quickly got a feel for the more sinister side to Lima life.

We were in heavy traffic and I noticed a sign on the entrance to an arcade, not a market arcade, it was a fruit machine arcade.  

The sign on the entrance was a "No Guns" sign, just like say a no parking sign,  but instead of a car there was a handgun in the picture.

I unsuccessfully tried to take a photo, the traffic started moving and I missed the opportunity.  At this point the driver closed my windows,  a sign that I probably shouldn't have both my phone out on display and window open simultaneously.

Not exactly eventful, but certainly more so than the rest of the uneventful drive through very heavy, rush hour traffic.

We get dropped off at our rental apartment which is situated between the Jesus Marie and Balconcillo districts. 

The apartment is on the 20th floor so understandably has fairly stunning views right across the city towards the sea and Isla San Lorenzo to the south west and towards Estadio Nacional to the North with its strange Olympic-like flame tower.

The area itself seems alright, there are a lot of university buildings and a hospital, which is always good as any area with a lot of footfall is generally both safe and supports loads of cafes, little shops etc and brings a bit of diversity and vibrance.

As good as this is, it offers zero help to the fact that it is very hot, the entire surrounding area is gridlocked with traffic and the air quality is duly affected to the point where it is a little uncomfortable.

The heat and intensity of the place makes it very difficult to motivate yourself to get up off your ass and do anything.  

It is very easy to get up at 8am and still be sitting around, wearing just your pants, 5hrs later, until hunger gives you the kick up the arse needed to get the finger out and do something.

Thankfully on our first day, when wandering the streets, trying to find a supermarket, I walked past a place called Levaggi.

At first it looked like a bakery, new York deli, kind of establishment, however as I walk past the windows, the place was full of locals, not eating cakes or sandwiches front the huge display below the bar, they were all eating various plates of food that looked both authentic Peruvian and more importantly very tasty.

This place really looked the bees knees and thankfulky it turned out that it was.

In the six days we spent in Lima we visted four times for lunch and each time I had the cerviche followed by whichever random plato principal I quickly chose, not that it mattered, this was all about the cerviche.

Big, huge chunks of corvina (sea bass), not like the farmed kind you get back home that are thin and scrawny, this is obviously wild (in theory they might just farm them bigger here, but don't let that detract from my moment) and has much more bite and flavour, marinaded in lemon juice, onion and chili, served with a wee disc of sweet potato and some choclo  (oversized giant white sweetcorn).

I could easily eat the stuff 100% of the time for lunch, as opposed to the 2/3 that I managed in Lima.

There were two other constants from our visits to Levaggi, Axel and Edith would fail to finish their food and I had he same drink every time , Chicha Morada.

The reason that the kids failed to finish their food had nothing with their choices or anything to do with the quality.

The standard of food was superb and the options extensive.

Any parent who has the pleasure/displeasure of dining out with their young, loved ones will be well aware that as welcome as a bowl of bread is upon arrival, keeps them quiet, etc.  This does have its hazards.

Firstly it wasn't a small bowl of bread that you got, it was a big bowl and not just bread.  

A large basket was delivered, like clockwork, straightaway, every time.

Secondly, as if a selection of their delicious bread wasn't enough, there was a selection of savory pastries, wee empanadas and a few of the Peruvian equivalent of the mini sausage rolls, a bit like the ones that you get at funerals and the night time part of a wedding.

I am not religious in the slightest, however if I was, this is the sort of shit that I will expect, before lunch, if/when I make it beyond the pearly gates.

Chicha Morada is quite an unusual drink, not the sort of thing that we have at home, not unusual in how it looks, it looks like Ribena, unusual in how it tastes.

The drink came as part of the lunch offering and as I said, first impression is that it looks like a glass of Ribena.

Following a quick sniff,  it clearly isn't Ribena, it has an interesting 'bouquet', I was smelling spices, like clove and cinnamon.

The first thought following a taste, frought with trepidation, was , it tastes a bit like mulled wine, but, in a good way, it didn't have the fear factor that mulled wine has. 

You know that feeling, where, you know, that if you take too big a mouthful that there is a good chance that you might puke it straight back up.

I am not sure if it is normal to have so many thoughts, in such a short space , about a silly wee soft drink, however I did so here we are.

Who wants to be normal anyway?

Normal is boring.

Back to this long winded story, the drink was good, Jessica watched on as a tried it, too scared to go first.

"It's alright, I quite like it" was my reply in a slightly less committal version of the Dr Pepper advert.

She gave it a bash, "Nah, don't like it, it's got a funny after taste".

It did have a complex finish (after taste), but I think in a good way.

What even is this shit?, was the next collective question.

Boiled purple sweetcorn juice, is the answer, but please don't let that put you off trying it, if you are ever lucky enough to get the opportunity to try the stuff.

The rest of Lima was pretty uneventful and not really much too it, aside from:

I bought some pirate dvd's off some geezer in a market, which from a communication perspective was very successful, dealing with the different style of lingo needed in that sort of environment. 

I even negotiated myself a good deal, buying all the hits, Rogue One etc, he asked me if I was Spanish, shared in a bit of chit chat.

The picture quality was excellent and if the same could be said for the sound quality, then we would definitely not have binned them all.

We also took a trip down to the coolest, hippest area of Lima that is called Miroflores.

Miroflores is the posh bit where there are lots of fancy restaurants where they have the menu in English, where you can visit department stores and the area where the proportion of pretentious wankers rises up to an slightly annoying level.

We did manage a bit of shopping though and look on the sales assistant's face when I opted to wear my new trainers, out of the shop and leave the box behind, was different.

White, long sleeved shirts and full face mosquito nets were bought for the jungle.

A nice friendly chap even approached me outside, err. McDonald's and introduced himself, asked me my name, where was I from.

Very friendly, great first impression, then he told me that he had some really good 'weed' and asked if I would like to buy some.  

I politely declined, not to be deterred,  he followed up with, "I also have cocaine".

What was actually quite interesting here was that, I have read, in those bloody travel books, that it is not uncommon in Lima for undercover cops to try and sell drugs to unsuspecting travellers , simply with a view of entrapment and gaining themselves a bribe.

Could this be, what potentially could have happened here?

Obviously, the answer is that I have no idea.

What does an undercover cop, posing as a drug dealer look like?

Should a drug dealer look and be dressed all smart casual like this guy?

Would a genuine drug dealer not look a bit scruffy?

The answer is that people come in all shapes sizes and appearances, some vocations, such as, say a personal trainer need to have a very sporty look, others such as a sales assistant depends on what exactly they are selling.

I would imagine some geniune drug dealers do dress in this very smart casual look, however others won't, for example, I would be very surprised if George Osborne's cocaine dealer dressed in any other way than that of a city slicker.

This is pure guesswork though and again an example of me stereotyping, which probably isn't really what I should be doing, who knows where this particular business is carried out, George Osborne may buy his drugs, down the gym or in his local brothel, where the city slicker look, although not uncommon, wouldn't be necessary.

For all I know though, the book may have been talking shite, again about the undercover cops thing.

It could well be some sort of urban myth that has been kicking about for years with no real substance, it carries on getting repeated and repeated until everyone believes it and everyone is scared.

Sort of like the story about the time someone used their mobile phone in in a filling station, then, BOOM!, the whole place blew up to smithereens.

Come the last day in Lima we are all glad to get out the place, we say this everytime, and I genuinely  wish we could avoid the huge cities but easier said than done.

Next up we are heading to Iquitos - the gateway to the Peruvian amazon, so our final jont in Lima is a taxi ride through the super busy streets for a return to Jorge Chávez International Airport.

As I said we are taking a flight up to Iquitos, nothing too long or dramatic, standard stuff.

What wasn't so standard was our wait beside gate number 42, as you do, praying that our boarding will be called.

At first everything was as per usual, Edith got her sweets for the plane, we replaced our confiscated water with new bottles and I even managed to pick up a bottle of Chicha Morado.

Then I noticed a bit of activity going on across from me.

The young women sitting directly opposite was causing a bit of a stir, all around there was the sound of indescript chatter, clearly about this women.

Then the first person went up and asked for a selfie, then a second, then the queue formed, security, catering staff, they were all at it.

Clearly we were in the presence of some sort of celebrity, but who?

After this happened, it was suggested to me that I could have just gone up, got my selfie, also got an autograph and then, easy peasy, I would know.

I am a bit too classy for that though and also the poor girl looked exausted, what with all the posing and smiling that was going on, maintaining the same, on brand, pout.

 So much so that eventually she lay down and pretended that she was sleeping.

I know she was pretending, you know why?

Like any true celeb, she could resist the urge to check her phone every 30sec or so.

Fast forward to the time that I am writing this and I now have a name.

I did try to find out at who she was at the airport, I even downloading a special Google image, search app, where you upload a photo, then, by way of magic it tells you all you need to know.

Unfortunately the suggestion that it gave me was 'a women sitting down', thankfully I was sitting around with nothing better to do, otherwise it would have been an even bigger waste of time than it actually was.

The celebrity in question was none other than the multi talented Mayra Goñi, actress, singer and 2012 winner of reality TV show Operación Triunfo.

What a time to be alive.

I think in the terms of celebrity, back home, she is about the level of someone like, Duncan from Blue, not that there is anything blue where we are going.

The amazon river is brown, the jungle green, the dolphins are pink and the mosquito bites turn bright red.

Exciting times ahead.

Lorne